My Blog

2002-04-02T10:14:00.000-08:00

It has been such a long time since I last posted here that I almost forgot my pass-word!

I haven't posted with this group for a while; have been purpously holding my tongue, so to say! I have not forgotten my work and am still reading the Bible & (I will not mention the name of the book again, as it seems to cause friction to some). I am NOT finding the Bible a frustrating read, I can feel the love coming through the words; even though there is much turmoil in it, a reflection of how humanity is still to this day living. I also find that after taking up the Bible, when I read other works they seem to come to me easier than they use to. Thankyou Robert & Caroline for your postings of the last few weeks, they have been thought inspiring & helpful. I am happy to finally see that the 'devils' have seemed to tire of harrassing this place.......the peace of not hearing their ranting & having to listen to responses feels good.

Love to you All,
Radia

2002-02-07T11:28:00.000-08:00

Occupation cont.......

My work is ready to begin. The created pattern is posted in front of me on the loom. I must follow it carefully, to not produce problems later on (I must look ahead). I use a mathematical formula from the graphed pattern in the reproduction of it on the cordage. Like I said before, my patterns are usually geometric in nature. Each inch of the warp is represented by 10 cords. I usually weave plain tapestry first, so I am using the shuttle (wee boat) containing the colored wool. This is woven quickly in comparision to the rest of the weaving, as the treaddles are pressed down alternately and the shuttle thrown back & fourth, back & fourth until the desired width of tapestry is created. One can create a rythum as you go with this plain weaving. Ah, then I get to the beginning of my pattern. Now comes the change. I must remember I am working in layers to create this flat surface. Every color change across the pattern means I must have a different ball of colored wool to weave one way, then the other. I have done patterns that have as many as 30 or more color changes across the cordage. It can become complicated and one must have excellent focus of what you are doing, and an eye on your graphed pattern. Every 6 times back and fourth there is a change in the placement of the wool balls or color changes. As I weave I count to myself these 6 units, so I remember where I am. I am sometimes lucky to complete 1/4 of an inch of weaving in a 2 hour sitting, after this time I must rest my body & mind and return to it later.

There is much focusing of the mind involved, and it is very time consuming work. I often don't want to weave but make myself do so. Then once I begin, so does the MAGIC begin! It is such an"Awe" to see the tapestry grow, layer by layer. Sometimes it is difficult to make myself do this work and other times it is a religious experience. It is as if I feel "energy" (a spiritual type) coming through my fingers to produce a creation, I can not describe this feeling, one must really experience it. My weaving continues daily & monthly, until I have completed my pattern. My loom is not an upright type so I am only able to see sections of the work as it is wound around a beam as I progress. When I am done I am left with a surprise gift as I cut the cords from the loom---it is like a birth! I get to see my new creation for the first time as a whole. Usually I am very pleased with the end result, sometimes not so, I need to put it away for a while. Later I will come to appreciate it.

I hang some of my tapestries in my home, sell some, enter them in shows or displays of art and sometimes give them away as gifts. When they leave me I am saddened as it is like a child has left home. Sometimes I feel joy, in giving a part of myself to others. To me weaving is MAGIC! The end.

Love to you,
Radia

2002-01-25T12:40:00.000-08:00

Occupation cont.......

Finished measuring & winding the cord for my tapestry, now the work begins. Tie on the ends to the apron on the back beam. Comb out the cord (600 measured strands) taking the knotts out. It is like combing a giants hair using my fingers for a comb. Tighten the combed warp to an eaual tension across the loom, then start to wind on the worked cord. This occurs several times over until the whole length of the warp is orderly and of equal tension. Next threading occurs. 600 cords are threaded through metal heddles with a threading hook and my hands. I must be sure they are all in the proper order, no cross over threads and each heddle is attached to one of 4 harnesses, that also must be kept in order. One mistake on any of the 600 threads can create chaos down the line. A mistake can also cause me to have to undo threads out to one end and have to rethread them all over. "SO" I tend not to make mistakes, and double check for cross over threads and proper harness numbers for heddles threaded, as I go. After this is complete and my hands and back are in pain from leaning over the loom bar to thread, it must be repeated. Next I need to thread the 600 cords through a metal reed~ which allows me to beat down the wool as I weave. No mistakes are allowed here either or one must redo all the threading. When the second threading is complete, I will tie all these threads to an apron, trying to get even tension all the way across, so when I press on of my six treddles on the floor with my feet, the cords will open up evenly to allow my shuttle to go between the threads, or small balls of woll, what ever is called for in my pattern. I am ready to start to weave! So I do a test run before starting my master piece (ya right!) to get all the cords in order/proper tension and make sure I have no mistakes to be seen. I wind some wool on the bobbin and place it in a shuttle(like a small boat) and proceed on my test run. My feet press on the treddle, up go the shafts. I throw the shuttle from one end to the other; press another treddle, the opposite shaft pops up and back the other way I throw the shuttle. My test run repeats these actions until I have about an inch of weaving. This helps keep the warp in place before I start my planned creation. I am ready to begin now.
I feel somewhat inferior when I hear others speak about intellectual things....like reading & listening to great works of art. I think I need to grow in that area, in my own time. It is important to beware that this world is focused around intellectual things, other perspectives are usually not taken account of or regarded as inferior by some. Simple things are not always as simple as they first appear. And in some cases I think the intellectuals are in dire need of actually DOING something, rather than only observing and analyzing.

To grow we need a balance of ALL.

2002-01-22T07:48:00.000-08:00

My occupation.......

starts with a seed in my thoughts. It is fed by reflections from around me. I imagine how to express this seed best. My canvas is cotton cord. And I have found that geometric works best for me. With seed in mind and accompanying reflection, I use a pencil on graph paper. Size for me is restricted (at this moment)....I can go no larger than 60 inches in width, length can be as long as I decide and my cordage enables. So on my graph paper I decide the size of my warp and frame it. I am faced with a blank canvas and creative time begins. Arrangement of spaces starts and the design of my seed begins to be expressed. It is changed several times to get the closest expression of my thought as possible. Color is restricted at this time, to the colors of wool that I am in possession of at the moment. I have many shades of many colors. So I choose the ones that best express my seed and combine colors that belong togeather (in my own mind). I work endlessly for hours (as if in trance) on design and color combinations until I feel satisfied, they will best express my seed. When it has been set down on graph paper, I proceed to begin my composition in the real. It is the beginning of most likely many months of work. I wind the cordage up and down, round and round on a frame over and over again; I am counting 10 threads per inch as I go; my body feels the pain.

to be continued......
Radia

2002-01-17T09:33:00.000-08:00

My Journey

I travelled by bus to a terminal cancer center to say good-bye to someone dear. I spent some time there and came to realize "what HELL it could be". Before this, I always thought these places were where people were "cared for", until they passed away. I never felt that way all the time I was there. My friend was just a body, and it seemed was cared for in a mechanical way. She didn't want to be there; but was held captive by her pain and the drugs people determined she should have. It was so SAD, not that she was in pain and was to pass away; but because she was treated in a non-loving and mechanical way! It was as though they drugged her (and others) just to make the system work better.

Others who visited seemed to react mechanically as well. Trying to make her eat over & over, when she told them she wanted none. I felt for her because she was so helpless to have even the tiniest will of her own. She was forced to eat, forced drugs, forced to go to the washroom in a diaper, forced to be there when she wanted none of it. I wanted to steal her away, bring her home and let her die in a dignified way. With Love!

One day as we did our usual mechanicalness, by her bedside, we all stood around watching her in a drug induced sleep. I began to weep uncontrollably before all the spectators; who acted like they didn't see or hear me. My emotional center must have taken over! No one said a thing. The patient awoke and called me over; she actually spoke about her death for the first time. I told her I loved her.

I asked myself later, why did I cry? My answer was not that she was in pain, drugged or in prison; but that I needed to tell her I loved her. My intellectual center (I think) didn't allow me to do so, as everyone elses behaviour was either in denial or not in tune with the reality of death. My emotional center, I think, created an opportunity I needed badly.

One thing I've learned on this journey is that in death "we go alone". Just as in life we must do it alone, no one or thing can do it for me/you.

On my bus trip home I met a person who talked to me about his religion. He gave me a book called the "Qur'an" translated by Abdullah Yusuf Ali. I think I should read it, as I believe it is a part of this journey.

Love Radia

2002-01-15T11:39:00.000-08:00

Hi,
This is new to me, but I think I'll make myself do it. I had planned to start with the story of my journey that I have just returned from; but three times I've started it and run out of space because I can't figure out how to pull the "post to my blog" area down so I can see what I have written. So I thought I would just try posting first and see if it works, rather then singing my heart out in 20 pages and it not posting.